As the temperature in Finland is falling it’s time to talk about
The Finnish Thermometer
+ 15º C: This is as warm as it gets in Finland,
so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun,
getting a tan.
+ 10º C: The French are trying in vain to start
their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
+ 5 º C: Italian cars won’t start. The Finns
are cruising in cabriolets.
0 º C:
Distilled water freezes. The water in the Vanda river in southern Finland gets
a little thicker.
-5 º C: People in California almost freeze to
death. The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.
-10º C: The Brits start the heat in their
houses. The Finns start using long sleeves.
-20º C: The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The
Finns end their midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.
-30º C: People in Greece die from the cold and
disappear from the face of the Earth. The Finns start drying their laundry
indoors.
-40º C: Paris starts cracking in the cold. The
Finns stand in line at the hot dog stands.
-50º C: Polar bears start evacuating the North
Pole. The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real
winter weather.
-60º C: Korvatunturi – the home for Santa Claus
– freezes. The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.
-70º C: The false Santas from Sweden and Norway
move south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can’t store their Koskenkorva vodka
outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.
-183º C: Microbes in food don’t survive. The
Finnish cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.
-273º C: All atom-based movement halts. The
Finns start saying:”******, it’s cold outside.”
-300º C: Hell freezes over. Finland wins the
next Eurovision Song contest.
Let’s hope we all survive another winter and
use it by learning more English!
